WHERE THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES CONTROVERSY STARTED

Temecula, CA – Like a new bridegroom on his honeymoon, I just had to hit this vagina story one more time. Donning my Sherlock Holmes gear as I did in scoping out those hot K-razor girls, I soon tracked down my three favorite free publications February issues in town: Neighbors, a PG rated, soccer-mom audience, newsprint, tabloid sized magazine; Under The Sun, a slick glossy magazine that features the sexiest head shots of gorgeous women in exquisite make-up every month this side of Cosmo; and the Country Review, ‘The People’s Choice Since 1989’.

Neighbors didn’t threaten their PG rating by any mention of The Vagina Monologues though they, like many other publications, free and pay, have expanded or added a scene entertainment page thanks to the years of long coverage done by The Full Value Review (www.fullvaluereview.com). Also it was surprising that no mention of the play appeared even on their calendar page since Neighbors has a majority of women on their masthead page. With the front cover sporting two major stories, ‘First Love of 1953’ and ‘Rock The Runway’, this mag seems to want to cover each end of the age spectrum.

Next up is Under The Sun, a mag that looks like it could be aimed for a Chicago crowd. Touting the cover story, ‘Isn’t It Romantic?’, an essay collection of how six couples found each other with only one ‘first love of ’53’ tale, UTS’ demographics are more upscale and urban sophisticate, with a signature ‘torpedo cougar’ (‘yeah, I’d tap that’) always gracing the back inside cover. With another female majority masthead UTS did post a mention of the play in a 4-column inch article, but with no graphics, in their ‘Date Book’ section, as well they should have after the preceding full color picture and story advertising Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo (yes, dancing, prancing men in full drag) and the full page, full color ad featuring what every ‘Miss Smithers’ would like from their gal pal, a stackable ‘Snap-on’ style tool chest called curiously enough, The Pink Box, with the ad copy that says, ‘unlock her heart with the Pink Box’. I wondered if this was UTS’s double-entendre wink at The Vagina Monologues, straight talk from the original pink box.

However, who could have imagined what I found inside the Country Review, a conservative (?) slick mag with the more conventional covers, this one featuring their fave male, Supervisor Jeff Stone. Within my fave insider story, (the late) Bill Kelly’s Reel Hollywood Valentines, on page 35 was the lit fuse of a full page, multicolor slick V-DAY ad with all the same advance info about The Vagina Monologues that I posted in my first ‘vagina’ story. I replaced the printed paper facsimile ad that I got from the dress rehearsal and had put up on my office ‘Wall of Fame’ with this smooth, almost sensuous, blood purple mini-poster. Thanks and a big ‘tip o’ the hat’ to the publishing couple having the biggest cajonnies in the valley and showing that you can be conservative without being an ostridge. Now let’s put this vagina story to bed, until next year that is.