February 6, 2008 by PT Rothschild.

BEFORE THE OSCARS, BEFORE THE EMMYS, IT’S TIME FOR THE DARWINS, WOOHOO!!

Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

• And this year’s winner is: the envelope please,

When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

• Honorable mention includes this old chestnut:

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.

• Here’s a weather related Darwin anyone living in the snow belt can be down with:

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

• A toast to one who drove over to the Cuckoo’s Nest:

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.

• Stop – Look - & Think

An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

• One for Candid Camera from the state of Arkansas

Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

• Not to leave out the great state of New York

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”

• Munchies and morons

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

• A spit or a shallow? A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.

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February 6, 2008 by Bill Gould, Publisher.

Riverside County, California - On Super-Tuesday February 5 2008, voters in Riverside County favored a local school bond, incorporating a small city and overwelmingly supported Hillary Clinton and her bid for the White House.

In Menifee, with all precincts being accounted for - school bond Measure B was passed by a slim margin of 56.90% of the vote, needing a 55% majority to be enacted.

Over in the new City of Wildomar, voters heavily supported city hood, with 61.15% of the vote count. As well voters in the newly formed City of Wildomar decided that they would like future elections of the city council to be by district. Below are the vote totals for the first city council of Wildomar:

In the Presidential race local Democrats rushed the polls with 54% of them voting for a candidate as opposed to the Republicans apparent lack of support for their candidates with only 40% heading to the polls. Hillary Clinton recived most of the Democratic vote with 80,587 votes or 58.79%. Republicans favored John McCain with 50,913 or 40.96%.

With all the totals in locally and statewide, the Indian Gaming Agreements were ratified by the voters with a large margin.

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February 6, 2008 by Bill Gould, Publisher.

Murrieta, California - On Monday, 2/4/08, at about 120pm, Murrieta Police Officers responded to the Auto Zone located at 40780 California Oaks Road in reference to a man passing a counterfeit fifty dollar bill. As uniformed officers were arriving in the area the man fled from the store and ran to a burgundy Chrysler Sebring parked in the Guarantee Bank parking lot. Two other men were seated in the waiting vehicle. All three men were detained at gunpoint by officers.

Inside the Chrysler Sebring officers found recently purchased merchandise and receipts from numerous local stores indicating the purchases were made with cash in fifty dollar increments. The initial investigation revealed those purchases were also made with counterfeit fifty-dollar bills involving two of the three men detained. Officers also recovered $950.00 in cash of smaller denominations from inside the Sebring believed to be the proceeds of their counterfeit scheme.

Antoine R Beck, 28, of Los Angeles; Tommy L Harris, 29, of Compton and Sylvester L Harris, 28, of Compton were arrested for involvement in these crimes. All three men were booked for numerous counts of burglary, passing counterfeit money and conspiracy. Two of the three were also booked for parole holds. All three were transported to Southwest Detention Center.

Retail clerks are reminded to examine large bills for signs of being counterfeit including receiving bills with duplicate serial numbers. The investigation is continuing and anyone with information concerning this incident is requested to contact Detective Steve Whittington or Detective Andy Spagnolo at 696-3615.

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